Gluten Freely

There was a time I believed my health struggles were what I understood to be “Karma”. That all the pain in my body was punishment for not being “good enough”—not good enough in my choices, my past, my relationships. I don’t believe that anymore (and I didn’t understand what Karma actually was).

But it took me a long time to get here.

Living with chronic illness changes how you see yourself. It can bring out shame you didn’t know you were carrying. And if you’ve ever made mistakes (which, by the way, we all have), it’s easy to wonder if you somehow deserve your suffering.

You don’t.

Pain is not a reflection of your worth. Illness is not a moral failure. And healing—physical or emotional—doesn’t depend on being perfect. In fact, it begins the moment you stop trying to “earn” peace and start letting yourself be worthy of it anyway.

Healing Isn’t Linear (and Neither Is Purpose)
I still feel behind and like I’m not doing enough. But what if purpose isn’t something we chase down—what if it’s something we grow into through small, honest moments? Through being present with our pain, and also with our joy?

Some days, purpose looks like writing. Some days, it looks like resting. Some days, it’s just being here.

What Helped Me Shift My Belief
Mindfulness and meditation have changed how I relate to myself. They’ve given me space to ask: What if this isn’t my fault? What if I can still create meaning, even with this pain? They’ve helped me soften the edges of guilt and let purpose come through the cracks.

Eastern traditions have known this truth for centuries: you don’t have to fix yourself to be whole. And now, even Western medicine is beginning to study these practices as valid tools for chronic illness. That gives me hope.

If You’re Carrying Shame, Please Hear This
Your illness is not proof of your past. Your pain is not punishment. You deserve kindness, care, and the chance to feel at home in your body again.

If you’re feeling like your life has gone off-course, or like you’re somehow “failing” at being sick—please take a breath. You are here. You are trying. And that’s more than enough.

Maybe your purpose is telling the truth about how it feels to live in your body, and trusting that your story has value.

And I’m really glad you’re here to tell it.

Some Tools That Helped Me Along the Way I want to share a few resources that have helped me reframe how I think about pain, purpose, and healing. These aren’t cures—but they’ve given me moments of peace, clarity, and strength. Maybe they’ll offer you something, too.

YouTube Channels

• Yoga with Adriene: Especially her “Yoga for Chronic Pain” and “Gentle Yoga” playlists.
• Asha Nayaswami – Ananda: A gentle, spiritually grounded teacher exploring karma and purpose through non-sectarian wisdom rooted in the Bible and Bhagavad Gita.
• The Chopra Well: A dedicated to inspiring, fun, and thought-provoking videos about healthy living, wellness, and spirituality.

Podcasts

• Jay Shetty’s On Purpose: A thoughtful and inspiring podcast that blends spirituality, personal growth, and emotional well-being. Jay’s background as a former monk brings a unique lens to modern life challenges, offering tools for healing, reflection, and deeper connection.
• The Mel Robbins Podcast: Science-backed tools, mindset shifts, and deeply personal stories to help you take small steps toward the life you want—even when you’re stuck in survival mode.
• Mayim Bialik’s Breakdown: A quirky and insightful show exploring the myths and misunderstandings around mental health. Hosted by neuroscientist Mayim Bialik, the podcast combines science, personal experience, and candid guest conversations to break stigma and foster a deeper understanding of the mind-body connection.

Books

• Radical Acceptance by Tara Brach

Tip: I use the Libby app to check out books and audiobooks from my local library.

Apps

• Calm: This app taught me how to meditate. It took me 60 days to get through the “30-day introduction to meditation,” but it changed my life. It’s perfect for beginners or anyone who wants a gentle, guided way to start a mindfulness practice.
• Balance: A customizable meditation app that adapts to your experience and goals. Whether you’re dealing with stress, sleep issues, or emotional overwhelm, Balance offers short, accessible guided meditations that meet you where you are.